“The Gifts of Imperfection”

The very first self-help book that made a huge impact on my life was, The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. The cover of the book reads, “Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.” Brené Brown is known for her research on shame, vulnerability, and leadership.

Originally released in 2010, the book introduces 10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living. According to Brené, “Wholehearted Living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, ‘No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, ‘Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging’.“

Like some, I grew up in an environment that nurtured the idea that we are sinners and are not worthy. Because of our humanity, we are born already needing to be saved and fixed. Couple that with being bullied in childhood and I became a person who never felt good enough. I could never do enough or be enough. I set the bar high for myself and could never measure up. I feared rejection above all else and it caused all sorts of issues in relationships. An anxious mess with low self-esteem and little self-confidence, I stumbled through my teens and into young adulthood.

When The Gifts came along it challenged my ideas on shame, self-comparison, vulnerability, and the need for certainty. I started to recognize how shame showed up for me. What triggered it and how my body reacted to it. How to step back in those moments and take a breath. I was made aware of how rewarding life could be when we show our authentic selves to others and how valuable vulnerability is.

I also started to appreciate my own resilience. Using that knowledge as a springboard to making it through some very difficult life circumstances. I started being kinder to myself and more conscious of my own inner critic. I learned to accept that others may not approve of my life or my choices and that is ok. I’m ok even when they don’t approve!

The author speaks about being “perfectly imperfect” and that we are “enough”. Learning that we are all worthy of love and acceptance, and including myself in that truly helped me heal.

Brené and Oprah had offered an online class, combing through the book and creating art journaling activities for each guidepost. It was a most enjoyable experience that I will always cherish. I still have the completed art journal! It is a good reminder of personal growth, the freedom that is possible when we go after it, and that there is always hope.

I know that this post may seem ten years late, but in my opinion the lessons in The Gifts of Imperfection are timeless.

If you are just starting out on a new journey to self-acceptance or you have never read this book, I encourage you to do so. Give yourself the gift of The Gifts of Imperfection!